The story of the woman who just really, really wanted to sit beside me (or take my seat)

On Christmas day, I took the subway to my parents' home lugging a huge and heavy box, which contained a desktop computer I had bought for them. It was from the Microsoft store so the bag I was carrying this giant box was splashed with the giant Microsoft logo -- a very obvious and "please mug me" signage that something of value was in there.

So I had sat in a two-seater spot facing backwards and and put the giant box in the window seat, covering up the logo with my backpack, as that seemed the hardest way for someone to jump me for it. The subway car had a ton of empty seats around me (after all, it was Christmas) and I wasn't being an asshole taking up two seats, as would normally be the case.

Then this older lady gets on, hovers beside me and says something to me, pointing to the seat which had the box. I had my earphones on so I couldn't hear what she said and she turned to look at the other side (which had people sitting) as I removed my earphones. Then she turns back to me to insist on sitting down - either IN THE SEAT I WAS ALREADY OCCUPYING or to sit in the seat which had my giant, heavy box. I was like WAHHHH because, literally, there was a seat in the two seater spot facing the doors RIGHT IN FRONT OF US that was unoccupied by neither a person, or a box, or anything on the seat itself. Then on the other side of the doorway, there were empty seats galore.

I looked at her just completely confused and stunned by why she was so insistent on taking either my seat or the seat beside me that had the giant fucking box and she just kept asking so I was like I WILL JUST MOVE. I picked up this 10 lb box and grabbed my backpack and moved to the plethora of empty seats two feet away and she sat down in my seat. I have never seen such buffoonery, nuttery on a subway before.

Then what really grinded my gears besides the fact that of all people on the train who had stuff in the seat beside them and try to bully to move that shit so she can sit down (me being with the giant box beside them, not like I was just hogging up two seats because I had a purse or shopping bag in the seat beside me), of all the empty seats that were available to her within a stone's throw, of all things, she only went two stops before getting off. And after one stop, after booting me out of my seat, she stood the rest of the trip to that stop. And yet with all the effort she made to sit down, you'd think she would have gone at least 5 stops!!! BUT NO, TWO STOPS AND NOT EVEN SITTING THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF THOSE TWO STOPS!!

Pictures of the ridiculousness. As you can see, the seat RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER is empty. The seats in front of me, but a mere meter away, is completely empty. The seats beside her (which were facing the direction of the train), had an empty seat. The other seat in front of that seat was also empty. SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING THIS BROAD'S BRAIN.

Dude was honking at everyone while zooming through on his motorized mobility scooter

Bad seat choice

Gelati RAGE!!

For those who know the story of the "gelati" rage...

It's gelato!! NOT PLURAL!!

Yoga mat placement etiquette

I don't understand how people don't get spacing out for a class. First in regular group exercise classes, not spacing out means you can get hit in the face with a foot. Not cool.

Secondly, not spacing out in a class with yoga mats means you're inches away from someone's stinky feet - that's gross - and also you can get hit in the face with a foot. So doubly not cool.

Yet people continue to assume that just putting a yoga mat pretty much inches from a person who had gotten there well before class started is acceptable. I don't get it. I also don't get why there are some people who have HUGE gaps of space and don't move their mat into that space so they aren't inches away from another person's mat or to make room for another person.

I'm usually on time for class and I stake out a spot. Then inevitably, some dumbass with no sense of personal space will flop their mat pretty much side by side or three inches behind/in front of mine or worst, right beside mine with no space in-between. WHAT? We're not friends or doing couples yoga, why are you this close to me?? I secretly am seething inside but I don't say anything for fear of being labeled as "that bitch" (as I tend to be a regular in most of the classes I attend).

We'll then flip our mats to north-to-south for sun salutations and then people that had, at one point, been at a good spacing away from me will then suddenly move INCHES FROM ME WHEN we flip back to west-to-east. Even though there is enough space on the OTHER side of them to swing a cat, they just creeped in even closer to me. Sometimes when those dumbasses do this, I will sigh and move my mat further away from them because I'm considerate, they probably don't want my feet right up by their faces when we lie down, but sometimes there's no other space on the other side because THAT PERSON IN THE OTHER SIDE OF ME HAS ALWAYS MOSEYED on closer to me.

So that results in being in a yoga mat sandwich.

Don't even get me started on other yoga class grievances like 1) people who heavy breathe so loudly, huffing and puffing that you can barely relax in class 2) dousing themselves in stinky perfume FOR THE GYM and you're supposed to be inhaling and exhaling but all you smell is skank perfume 3) many other things that I will post about eventually

Escalator turds

Escalator usage has been something I've discussed/raged about before (walk left, stand right, people!) but this is a new layer of inconsiderate assholery.

I'm talking about people who go up the escalator or down the escalator, realize there's a bus or train down there that someone behind them may want to catch (especially with buses, it's more dire because a missed bus could mean a 20 minute wait in a sketchy station) but then they just casually stand or walk slowly on the left, oblivious to the person right behind them who wants to get by. And the worst is when they suddenly slow down or stop RIGHT ON A STEP THAT IS BESIDE SOMEONE ELSE IS STANDING ON THE RIGHT - so you're trapped. You can say excuse me and what have you, but then you seem like an asshole for telling them to move out of the way.

And sometimes they just completely slow down and halt right at the end of the escalator and you're trying to catch the bus so you have to carefully maneuver around them to avoid crashing into them.

I hate these idiots.

Taking off your shoes and putting them on the seat is NOT APPROPRIATE

Hope your bag is comfy, asshole!

He kept that bag there the entire trip during rush hour and everyone, women and elderly alike, stood around.

Same with this guy. Just ignored everyone around him, oblivious to his assholeyness.
He also just looks like an asshole.

Really??

People's bums go on those seats!!

Dear dummies: the subway is not your personal gym

Stop using the bars to do chin ups. Just stop.

This idiot who insisted on stretching his legs way out during rush hour

Really??! It was 9 am and the southbound train was packed, yet even with all the people almost tripping over him and my looks of disapproval, no attempt to move his damn feet.

Idiot. 

Feet on seatssss!

This guy turned out to be crazy. He kept saying 'fucking'  something or another, Clint Eastwood, something about nature etc. I was scurred.

HR rant continued

Continuing from my series on HR's uselessness. What can I say, HR is a permanent thing that fills me with rage.

This article for HR professionals about How to Conduct the Perfect Job Interview is more of a pipe dream than it is reality. But if most HR folks did what the article suggests, the whole field would gain a lot more respect. Unfortunately, this isn't the case and it seems like the field is littered by bad apples.

This isn't indicative of all HR people because I've also had some lovely experiences with HR as well.

But 8/10 times, my experience with HR has been abysmal and convinced me they were completely useless...here are some examples.

Pursuing you like you're the second coming and then suddenly going MIA for whatever reason

Worse than the Katy Perry "Hot n Cold" song because when they want you for a job you weren't even that keen on, they will send you messages at any time of day and keep talking about how a meeting with the hiring manager would be good even if you were iffy about the position. Then when you start doing the pursuing/following up, they completely ignore your emails. Not even a peep. Not even a :( to indicate you're no longer considered a candidate. Only in the HR world is just completely ignoring people acceptable, regardless if you're a job seeker or an employee. At least if you're an employee, you can escalate to the appropriate parties but not if you're a job seeker. You just look craycray sending follow up after follow up in the hopes of getting a response.

Interviewing for jobs they know nothing about

This doesn't happen everywhere obviously but in the world of somewhat technical jobs that use certain industry terms, you should have some idea so you know that the candidate knows how to perform the duties once actually in the job. When you're interviewing and explaining your previous duties, which MATCH UP EXACTLY WITH THE POSITION YOU'RE INTERVIEWING FOR, they might not "get it" and take you out of the running based on their interpretation of the role, which they know nothing about.

For example, performance media mentioning rich media has to do with display campaigns that use data (such as search data) to target the appropriate audiences on sites that are not primarily a search engine, just with search capabilities (almost all sites basically). Performance meaning it is an action based engagement not just viewing the impression. Just because it has the word "search" does not mean it is SEM/SEO. These terms have to do with advertising, usually text based but not always, on search engines or a social network and optimizing keywords on content pages, respectively. So because someone doesn't have SEO/SEM experience doesn't mean they are unqualified for performance media based jobs. Learn the difference if you're the person gatekeeping candidates from getting through to the next round.

Asking stupid questions

First, there is Google so you can Google the company that candidate is from and you're not familiar with. I've had recruiters ask me what my previous company was. Not what my role was on a day to day basis (though that is also on the resume) but "what is a Name of Company?" Now I know why people who make up company names and put themselves as VPs or Co-founders (yet when you look up the company on Linkedin, there is not a single other employee) get hired at places. The people in charge of being the gatekeeper of talent are just not making the effort to see what these companies the candidates worked for are about nor whether they actually exist.

This is also why you sometimes end up working with such inexperienced, with no motivation to get better, colleagues - it's because the recruitment process is a failure and leaving good candidates out while bringing in BS candidates in.

Recruiters.... especially ones who reach out for a role they won't tell you about

The worst! Recruiters who try to connect with you on Linkedin and their message just says:

Your background looks like a great fit for an opportunity we have active at the moment. Please give me a call to learn more.

And they don't give you a title or offer to email you the description. You have to CALL them. Wouldn't it be easier to just give me the job description first to see if it's even relevant to me and then go from there if I feel that there's a fit? This is ridiculous.

We get it, you are into fitness

What's with people posting 5000 pictures of selfies in the mirror at the gym, the weights at the gym, ellipticals at the gym, treadmills at the gym, your gym bag, the locker at the gym, etc??

And status updates about having been at the gym??

We get it, you go to the gym.

Standing in front of escalators

This is just one example but plenty of times I've seen people just stand right at the top or bottom of the escalator landing.

Why?  There are other places to stand and when you're on the escalator, you can go nowhere else so crashing into the person is inevitable.

Stop it.

Glad your bag is comfy while everyone around you had to stand

At least she uses reusable bags.

One dude. Taking up 2 seats spread over 3 seats