The most annoying (though nice) roommate

If I had live blogged this, it would probably be a bigger list.

• She kept saying 'interesting'. This experience was interesting, the food was interesting, the room was interesting, the subway was interesting. Girl, learn some new adjectives.

• She said shit like 'my friends were all Facebooking me messages to have a good trip!', 'I updated my Facebook cover photo and all my friends are already leaving me comments *giggle giggle*' and giving me play by plays of her Facebook comments. Is she new to the internets?

• She also kept talking about her "conference in Toronto". ALL THE TIME. I wanted to stab something when she mentioned Toronto and the godddamn conference.

• One time, we came back from going out (of course at a rather early time since the girl never did anything at these things but stand there) and because she took showers in the morning and me at night, I was about to go into the bathroom. I asked her if she needed to go in before I went, she said she'd go after. When I am done, I come out and shes snoring already so I turned off the lights and went to bed. Then at 4 am, when we had an early morning the next day, she suddenly wakes up to realise she is still in her clothes. AND THIS BASIC BITCH DECIDES TO SHOWER. AT 4 AM! WHEN SHE COULD HAVE LITERALLY WAITED A FEW HOURS AND SHOWERED THEN. So she woke me up at 4 am.

• Let's talk about the partying or there lack of. I am a senior citizen so I get it, I can't stay out until 4 am because I am just too old for that shit. But this girl, when she goes to anything, she doesn't sing along to the music (I don't think she's heard the songs before), she barely talks to anyone and she stands like a creepy mannequin in the corner. Usually staring. I once noticed her at the toga party at the bar half the time and later I asked her if she had drank a lot. Turns out no, she had one drink and had just stood there for fun the whole time. Not waiting for a drink or anything.

• Cankles

 

• She kept calling "gelato" gelati. Gelati is plural of gelato, yes, but we're not getting many gelato, JUST ONE!

• When we had to leave the hotel in the morning, we usually got our wake up call one hour early and we were to be at breakfast half hour before leaving. She'd be in the bathroom drying/straightening her hair and putting on make up until forever. One time, when we were meeting up for 8:30 AM, she was in there until 8:10 AM and I missed out on meeting with everyone (this was on the cruise so whatever, I just hung out by myself) and usually, I only got like 10 minutes of breakfast time.

•  Speaking of missing out: in Turkey while on the cruise, we were only docked for 2 hours. She made me late for meeting up with everyone for breakfast because she was in the bathroom forever and a day, straightening her hair to make her look like an old lady, so as I run out, I go to grab my key. Our cabins on the boat had to be locked from the outside when leaving the room, they didn't auto-lock. I go to the desk where I left my key the night before, but it was gone. I was like WTF! That bitch took my key! So I run to the restaurant I think they are eating breakfast to be shoo'd away by staff since breakfast was over (I didn't know they had moved to another restaurant since the idiot didn't call our cabin to inform me) and ran back to my room. Feverishly took another look to see if it had fallen somewhere. Then I luckily found the cabin stewardess who helped lock the room for me and later on, gave me an extra key. After we all get back on board from our Turkey stop, she comes into the room and I'm like "I think you took both the keys". She's like "uhhh no, I didn't. I only took mine". "No, I left my there and now I can't find it. Can you check?". She goes into her purse as she says, "okay fine but I am certain I didn't take it...". Lo and behold, she had both keys. She did apologize and say she felt bad. I said that it was okay (pfft, whatever. I was still pissed and she was bragging about all the stuff she bought in Turkey with our group...while I had wandered around by myself) but if she did this to me in Santorini, I would smother her in her sleep. She giggled. I looked at her with this face :| (I was fucking serious).

• Poo skid marks. She told me once, while we were on the cruise, "well you probably heard all the flushing. I had to poo and it doesn't seem to be able to flush it" (maybe substitute another word for poo). I was like ready to gag.

• She walked slower than molasses. I usually was walking miles ahead of her (and I am usually slow! So imagine her!!) but every so often, I felt obligated as her roommate to turn around and see if she was kidnapped by gypsies. She was always SOOO FAR BEHIND! For everything, even when we had just a few hours on Santorini, she walked around like a retarded penguin.

•  She never asked for directions or help when we were going places. It was always me who had to ask for directions!

• When we were in Santorini, all the GOOD stuff, like beaches, were far out on the island. When we were there, all of our group were renting ATVs in pairs to go to the beaches. I unfortunately got stuck with roomie. So as everyone is speeding off (and I am like OMG I have poor sense of direction and I need to go with someone!) and she is walking SO SLOW towards the ATV rental place. Then she suddenly says "I don't know if I want to get an ATV, I have so much more to explore in town!". (Meanwhile, in town, there are just some souvenir shops and that's it) In a moment of anger, I said UGHHH I WISH I WAS TRAVELING WITH ONE OF MY FRIENDS RIGHT NOW!!!! Then the bitch conceded.

• In a lot of the hotels we stayed at, it was two twin beds pushed up beside each other in the tiny room. We never took the effort to really push them apart (with the small space) and a lot of the time, I often found her not only snoring loudly but also her legs all on my bed. And she always slept facing towards my bed whereas I always tried to fall asleep facing the other way (might have tossed at night to face her direction). One time I woke up and said, "sorry I might have pushed you into your bed last night because your legs were all on my bed". She responded with a NO WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, I DID NOT sort of way. Same as with the key incident. 

• She often put on some lotions or something that smelled like old lady ass.

•  Her face literally (!!) came off on the towels.

• She hangs out by herself all the time and sometimes, sits creepily to the side of me and only joins in the convo to say stupid shit like "the sunrise was so beautiful that I had to stop to take a photo of it" 

• We did this thing where we talked about our most embarrassing story - her story was, I kid you not, saying when she gets drunk, she punches people who are much bigger than her. Like her brother. HOW IS THAT EMBARRASSING????? THAT IS NOT AN EMBARRASSING STORY!!!