How to open bus door: read a-holes

It says wait until the green light comes on, then push the door to open. Instead, some dumbass keeps pushing it when the light hasn't turned on and keeps pushing it, and it's making beeping sounds and the bus can't move. So we're fucking stalled for a good 2 mins!
For fuck's sake!

Here's how to exit a bus from the rear doors.

1) wait
2) see green light turn on?
3) push bars
4) exit
5) result? No annoying the fuck out of people because you kept pushing on the bars and the doors got stuck.

Nasty facial hair that looks like pubic hair

Dudes who can't grow 'staches and beards should just not bother. It's just groce.
Look at this. Is this not the most vile facial hair ever?

Other points of rage related to this photo/man:
- sleeping Asians on public transportation
- talking on the phone really loudly on public transportation

Everyone is apparently a social media guru

Ever notice everyone on Twitter and Linkedin seems to have the terms "social media guru" or "social media expert" or "social media ninja", etc in their descriptions?

Also annoying is on Linkedin when random young'ins have job titles like "Social Media Specialist and Writer" and "Social Media Marketer and Coordinator". Throwing in "social media" just into the title with the "and" some other title, highly suspicious!

And just because you use Twitter, Facebook, blog, can use Youtube and Reddit, read and retweet/share Mashable articles, etc, DOESN'T make you a social media guru/ninja/expert. Just because you promote yourself like a crazy person on the internets (and hell, even real life. I've seen it before) doesn't make you a guru. You're just more competent with social media than a web-illiterate hillbilly on dial up, but you're not that awesome. So just...stop.

I find the whole notion of the "social media guru" a huge farce. This coming from a person who wants to have a career involving social media, I just would never be so shameless to call myself any of these buzz word-y infused, social media related titles.

Foursquare: you're doing it wrong

Let's just say I know someone. And this person, let's call him Mr. X, checks into EVERYTHING. I mean, even places he's not there or remotely near. And oftentimes, he also extra obnoxiously syndicates these check-ins to Twitter and Facebook. Thank God, I don't have him on Twitter and with Facebook, the ability to block updates from people on your newsfeed is a GODSEND!

He checks into every store in a mall EVEN when it's closed at 10 pm. And, here's the kicker, he checked into my office at like 11 pm when 1) no one is there 2) he doesn't even work there 3) he probably isn't even physically near the floor in the office building we share with all the other companies/offices. And I was like WTF when foursquare notified me because I'm the mayor of my office right now.

Also obnoxious is that all the check-ins have shout outs to people like "hahaha @blahblah I'm here again" and "@yobro I need to stop shopping lolololol".

FUCK that is not the point of foursquare. Get off the internets!


* I've since deleted this guy off my foursquare friends list. Seeing his annoying check-ins was raising my blood pressure unnecessarily. And probably causing me to break out "I eat too many chocolate bars" style.

Those anti-theft barcode things on clothes and DVDs

Randomly, some clothes I buy will have this thing (see photo below) attached somewhere on it. After you buy it, you don't really notice it UNTIL you go into another store and you set off the alarms. Then you have a hundred people staring at you like you just shoplifted (when a lot of the time, it set it off on you entering the store) and you are standing there sweating it out, nervously. And I have a tendency to always look suspicious even when I'm completely innocent.

These stupid barcode tag things also appear in DVD cases, sometime between the plastic. For the love of baby Jesus, it is not easy to remove it from there.

Once you realize you've got an item with one of these things, you can pretty much forget further shopping because it's just going to be store alarm after store alarm setting off around you.

Drivers who don't signal or wait until last minute to

Every day, as a car-less pedestrian who takes public transportation, I cheat death as I'm often almost run over by people right turning when I'm crossing the steet on a green light, expecting them to drive straight because they aren't signalling that they are going to turn. Then these idiots suddenly turn into me as I am about to take a step off the sidewalk.

Fuck learn how to fucking drive, assholes!!

TTC ughness

People who put their feet on the chairs.
WTF! That is dirty. Have some respect for public property and other people's pants.

People who just keep holding the pole for no apparent reason. Especially UGH when they cough into their hands and then grab the pole again. Makes the pole extra gross and germy.

Crazy people on the bus who try to stab you in the eye with umbrellas and pens (and various similar objects).