Counting down to Twilight movies

Hell, counting down in a public way to almost anything tends to be annoying. Like counting down days until you're due on Facebook. Ugh!

Seeing constant Facebook status updates from someone who isn't 12 years old, alluding to xx days until the release of a Twilight movie, makes me want to quit the internets.

Sales associates who knock on your changeroom door

When you're trying on clothes, you may be in a state of undress. And then all of a sudden, there's a knock on the door asking you how things are going.

Firstly, if I need help, I would get re-dressed and open the door for help. It's not like I've fallen and can't get up inside the changeroom.

Secondly, when you're possibly in a state of undress, you feel a bit vulnerable and when someone suddenly knocks on your door, you get that fear that they might barge in, thinking it's empty. Then you're overwhelmed with that jolt of fear that the door will swing open and you'll be half naked in front of everyone.

So please, retail people, don't knock on my changeroom door. I'll still say you helped me when I get to the cashier, even if you never helped me through the door whilst I was undressing.

How to open bus door: read a-holes

It says wait until the green light comes on, then push the door to open. Instead, some dumbass keeps pushing it when the light hasn't turned on and keeps pushing it, and it's making beeping sounds and the bus can't move. So we're fucking stalled for a good 2 mins!
For fuck's sake!

Here's how to exit a bus from the rear doors.

1) wait
2) see green light turn on?
3) push bars
4) exit
5) result? No annoying the fuck out of people because you kept pushing on the bars and the doors got stuck.

Nasty facial hair that looks like pubic hair

Dudes who can't grow 'staches and beards should just not bother. It's just groce.
Look at this. Is this not the most vile facial hair ever?

Other points of rage related to this photo/man:
- sleeping Asians on public transportation
- talking on the phone really loudly on public transportation

Everyone is apparently a social media guru

Ever notice everyone on Twitter and Linkedin seems to have the terms "social media guru" or "social media expert" or "social media ninja", etc in their descriptions?

Also annoying is on Linkedin when random young'ins have job titles like "Social Media Specialist and Writer" and "Social Media Marketer and Coordinator". Throwing in "social media" just into the title with the "and" some other title, highly suspicious!

And just because you use Twitter, Facebook, blog, can use Youtube and Reddit, read and retweet/share Mashable articles, etc, DOESN'T make you a social media guru/ninja/expert. Just because you promote yourself like a crazy person on the internets (and hell, even real life. I've seen it before) doesn't make you a guru. You're just more competent with social media than a web-illiterate hillbilly on dial up, but you're not that awesome. So just...stop.

I find the whole notion of the "social media guru" a huge farce. This coming from a person who wants to have a career involving social media, I just would never be so shameless to call myself any of these buzz word-y infused, social media related titles.

Foursquare: you're doing it wrong

Let's just say I know someone. And this person, let's call him Mr. X, checks into EVERYTHING. I mean, even places he's not there or remotely near. And oftentimes, he also extra obnoxiously syndicates these check-ins to Twitter and Facebook. Thank God, I don't have him on Twitter and with Facebook, the ability to block updates from people on your newsfeed is a GODSEND!

He checks into every store in a mall EVEN when it's closed at 10 pm. And, here's the kicker, he checked into my office at like 11 pm when 1) no one is there 2) he doesn't even work there 3) he probably isn't even physically near the floor in the office building we share with all the other companies/offices. And I was like WTF when foursquare notified me because I'm the mayor of my office right now.

Also obnoxious is that all the check-ins have shout outs to people like "hahaha @blahblah I'm here again" and "@yobro I need to stop shopping lolololol".

FUCK that is not the point of foursquare. Get off the internets!


* I've since deleted this guy off my foursquare friends list. Seeing his annoying check-ins was raising my blood pressure unnecessarily. And probably causing me to break out "I eat too many chocolate bars" style.

Those anti-theft barcode things on clothes and DVDs

Randomly, some clothes I buy will have this thing (see photo below) attached somewhere on it. After you buy it, you don't really notice it UNTIL you go into another store and you set off the alarms. Then you have a hundred people staring at you like you just shoplifted (when a lot of the time, it set it off on you entering the store) and you are standing there sweating it out, nervously. And I have a tendency to always look suspicious even when I'm completely innocent.

These stupid barcode tag things also appear in DVD cases, sometime between the plastic. For the love of baby Jesus, it is not easy to remove it from there.

Once you realize you've got an item with one of these things, you can pretty much forget further shopping because it's just going to be store alarm after store alarm setting off around you.

Drivers who don't signal or wait until last minute to

Every day, as a car-less pedestrian who takes public transportation, I cheat death as I'm often almost run over by people right turning when I'm crossing the steet on a green light, expecting them to drive straight because they aren't signalling that they are going to turn. Then these idiots suddenly turn into me as I am about to take a step off the sidewalk.

Fuck learn how to fucking drive, assholes!!

TTC ughness

People who put their feet on the chairs.
WTF! That is dirty. Have some respect for public property and other people's pants.

People who just keep holding the pole for no apparent reason. Especially UGH when they cough into their hands and then grab the pole again. Makes the pole extra gross and germy.

Crazy people on the bus who try to stab you in the eye with umbrellas and pens (and various similar objects).

People on the bus too lazy to walk a few steps

Sometimes a bus driver will let people our a bit further away from the bus stop because it's a red light and they are already stopped.

Today, I noticed that a lady is standing by the front entrance still, minutes after the driver already opened the doors to let people out. Dumb bitch then dings to be let off again after the bus travels the few meters to the bus stop.

WTF!!

Gym rage

People who don't wipe down their equipment after use

That is so effin' gross. After people are sweating all over their machine, they just get up and go. WIPE YOUR NASTINESS DOWN!


People who don't space out on the equipment

Same concept as public transportation. If there's no availability to spread out, so there is space between people, then go ahead and use the machine beside me. But when there are all these available machines around and you park yourself RIGHT BESIDE ME, that's unnecessary.

When you're obviously the uninvited party

Here's a scenario. You are sending emails out and CCing someone. That someone replies back and the person you had on CC replies back to them, because they apparently know this person, about how they should totally do lunch sometime soon! Teehee, great. I'm still in the email thread. Then one of these two parties is all "yeah let's do lunch but let's talk about it offline" or "in another email". Okay you just made me feel awkward. Obviously I am not invited and there are just three people in the conversation, let's just ignore that third random person who is unwanted.

This doesn't necessarily fill me with rage as the rest of the entries in this blog but seriously WTF.

Buses stopping at intersections for forever and a day

Sometimes, buses bunch up and I GUESS they need to put it back on schedule. But what really annoys me is when you really have to pee or it's getting really late or they are already at the near end of their route but still have to sit out a few cycles of the lights turning at an intersection.

You are almost there, but no. You are just stuck there for like 10 minutes.

Infuriating.

When email marketing lists resubscribe you

When you distinctly remember having unsubscribed from a newsletter and months down the line, you suddenly receive a newsletter from them, you're like WTF! Email marketing fail.

I'm looking at you, everybodybuys.com and MySpace.

See related email rage post.

Siddle up line cutters

There's clearly a line formed and these people go and stand off to the side at the front, just to bolt into the bus when it comes. Argh, learn common courtesy! The line isn't for some people, it's for everyone! You're not too precious to stand in a line with everyone else!

Here is an example of such a despicable character as witnessed at Finch station. Let's all shame her. She's all standing there with her dyed red hair and earphones, oblivious to the fact that there are people lining up and she's just hovering in the middle of nowhere.

Email Rage Part 2

When people don't read their emails or read their emails in full and respond to only half the items

Even when I bullet point everything. COME ON!



When people CC me on things that don't concern me or look like they don't concern me but somewhere in that email, addressed to someone else, there is a shout out to you or something that is relevant to you.

Bold that shit. If you're sending to Mary and CCing me, then put bold text for my name for where it concerns me. I don't have time to read all the emails that don't look like it's relevant to me other than at the way bottom paragraph.

People who chew with their mouth opened.

Not just people talking with their mouth full, but people who actually have their mouths wide open while chewing so you can see the food travelling around the front of their mouths.

See exhibit A below. I see this woman on the bus all the time eating various types of breads and she always just has her mouth gaped open, as I see the bread/crumbs move around her mouth. YUCK!

Vega's or Miami?

I just saw on my Facebook newsfeed, someone's status update being:

Vega's or Miami?

VEGA'S????????

*stabs eye with fork*

People who ride their bike on the sidewalk

One time, I was walking my dog on the sidewalk and out of nowhere, a dumbass on a bike whizzes by us. And in that split second he was beside us, my dog freaked out and pulled toward the guy on the bike. He almost ran over my small dog and he turns around, as he's riding away, with a judgey, "what's wrong with you" face.

First, this happened in the small side streets where there's not much car traffic and second, riding a bike (and with speed, at that) on the sidewalk is illegal.

The fact that he made it seem like I was in the wrong, a walking pedestrian, is ridiculous.

I wish I could kick him off his bike and wipe that smug look off his face.

And when you live in my hood, you gamble with your life every time you take a step on the sidewalk - trust me, I speak from experience! These idiots on bikes seriously have no common courtesy for pedestrian safety. They will literally keep the speed as they ride into an area with other people, not even attempting to avoid them by going to the side or grass (god forbid they ride on the grass for a few seconds), instead expecting you to move out of <i> their</i> way. Assholes.

And ngl, it's usually the Asians who do this. The Asian brethren, way to be asses!

Apostrophes to pluralize a word

Arghhhhhhhhhh!!

Dinging the stop request at the last stop

Why is it that some people make a stop request either when the next stop IS the station? Or when there's a bus loop after the intersection and before the intersection, there's a bus stop and then after it, there's one more bus stop before the bus loop. The distance between the bus stops are equal to the connecting bus stop going in another direction, except the later bus stop doesn't require crossing the street. Whatevs.

But when someone still "dings" it and still walk in the direction of the bus loop, WTF! The bus would've dropped us off in bus loop had you not made the stop request!!! It's not just enraging because I am lazy, if it's cold or raining and someone still does it, grrrr!

Misquoting classic movie lines in Facebook statuses

Not everyone can remember every line perfectly from a movie but to MISQUOTE ONE OF THE BEST LINES IN ANCHORMAN? As a FACEBOOK STATUS???

That is blasphemy!

It's "I don't know how to put this, but I'm kind of a big deal" not "I am not gonna lie, I'm kind of a big deal".

Canadian personalities who fill me with rage

Leah Miller.
Why is she infiltrating my television screen? I couldn't tune into MuchMusic for fear of seeing her, her annoying face and her annoying voice. Now, I can't even watch CTV anymore - which is where my Oprah/The Daily Show/The Colbert Report reside - without going into a blind rage. She's on the commercials and regular programming. AHH! She's like the plague of Canadian TV!


Ben Mulroney.
I hate him. I can't even watch eTalk, and not just because of the overly tan Korean girl. I want to punch his smug face and that hair, what's up with it? I just can't...

Rick Campanelli.
I used to like him as Rick the Temp on MuchMusic when he spoke normally and like a human being but ever since he went to ET Canada, his voice grates my nerves like nobody's business. I want to stab forks in my eyes. Cheryl Hickey I have no problem with, him, I have to switch channels or mute the TV when he starts talking. Unfortunately, they do throws to him at ET Canada during the news, which my parents watch, so I have no control over that.

Shouting across the aisle

People on the bus or subway who don't sit beside each other even though there is a seat, but insist on shouting a conversation at each other.

Sleeping Asians

Why is it that Asians who are prone to sleeping on the bus/subway, while wobbling side to side, always end up sitting beside me?

Their head keeps swaying back and forth, sometimes landing on me, right before I jerk in my seat to get that gross head off me or move to the tip of my seat so when they tip over, they almost fall over in the void :) Even if the gross head doesn't land on you, it is still so damn distracting.

Close your eyes and rest or whatever but geez, using other people's shoulders to sleep on isn't cool.

Using the escalator is serious business

The escalator landing area is not for fraternizing or tomfoolery

When you're on the escalator and reaching the end, and some idiot in front of you gets off it but JUST STANDS THERE AND CAUSES A PILE UP FOR THE PEOPLE BEHIND THEM! I.E. ME!

If you are confused about your surroundings or want to have a conversation with your buddy, at least take a few steps and THEN pause so people on something that is constantly moving towards you and have nowhere else to go can dismount it without falling on top of other people.

On that note, what's up with people who are about to step on the escalator but pause there for an eternity as they ponder which step to get on? Are you from a developing country that has not yet been introduced to the world of escalators and moving sidewalks?

Email rage

I'm all for email. In fact, I like email more than other kinds of communication when it comes to normal urgency type things. When people call you, and it's not related to anything urgent or to get clarification in such a way that email can't provide, then I find that annoying. If they are just asking a question that is not at all time-sensitive and you need to physically stop what you were doing to get an answer for them and you're being put on the spot for an answer (which, if sent via email, I'd take some time to look up first before answering), then I'd rather get it through email. Especially if they need to communicate details or important things that you will later need to reference but will have no paper trail (unless you do the "as discussed in our call, blahblahblah" follow up email).

Still, there are certain things about email that annoys the hell out of me.

- People who don't know how to use subject lines. I get that sometimes people forget to put a subject line but there are people who CONSISTENTLY don't use one. And then their entire email has just a few vague words referencing a poorly named attachment. Later on, when you need to find that email, search terms always fail. PUT SOME GODDAMN SUBJECT LINES IN YOUR EMAIL!

- In the same vein, people who don't use descriptive subject lines (especially when it pertains to a timeline) or put too much detail into the subject line that it's like the entire email is the subject line. Seriously, do people not know how subject lines work?

- Marking not important or time-sensitive emails as "high importance" with the little red exclamation point. Majority of the time, it's not even of high importance. High importance means that something's super urgent and if it's not looked at, IT WILL BE A DISASTUH! Like, if I don't see the email, I will literally (not figuratively) be in mortal danger. But really, if it's that important, maybe just come find me at my desk or give me a call then. And let's define "high importance". If you forgot to do something and because of that, it's now super urgent and of "high importance", then that's your damn fault. I will know whether or not it's your fault because I'll look at the time stamps in the email thread. If I see that something was originally sent the day before but then was forwarded to me with "high importance" an entire day later, and it's not because you were on vacation or out of the office, then I will ignore that little red exclamation point. And moving forward, I will not even really give much credence to your "high importance" emails.


Here's a good flowchart of when to and when not to use "high importance" priority.

- Email marketing from people who don't know how email marketing works. IT'S BEST PRACTICES TO ALLOW FOR EASY UNSUBSCRIBES! When I see at the footer of the email NOT a one-click link to unsubscribe, but a link that either requires me to log in to change my "email preferences" or a message that says "you have agreed to receive these communications. To change your preferences, go to this page and change your settings", then I want to march down to the company in question's head office and scream profanities at their marketing head. This is ridiculous. Do you know how often people sign up for sites and how often these stupid sites have a not opt-OUT by default but an opt-IN by default? And how often people eventually forget about these sites and eventually their usernames and passwords, only to suddenly get newsletters, offers or reminders months or years later? I'm looking at you, MySpace. I already have every email preference unchecked and yet, you continue to send me emails about stupid bands or movies or random nobodies adding me or sending me emails on the damn site. I DON'T CARE. STOP EMAILING ME! I'd delete my profile there if it weren't for the fact that I want it for nostalgia/posterity.

- Stupidly long email signatures. If you're going to put that disclaimer in, which I used to have to do at an old company, at least make it a tiny font. Or really, just get rid of that disclaimer. How often do people who actually receive an email intended for someone else actually look at the disclaimer and be like "OH NOES! I must abide by the stipulations in this email disclaimer!". COME ON!